Do you ever feel like you’ve shifted from being a “Calm Companion” to a “Plate Police” the moment
dinner starts? I’ve been there. Our goal is to nurture the Body, Mind, and Soul of our families, but
that’s hard to do when the table feels like a battlefield.
Here is how we can gently shift the energy back to connection.
Create a Space for Calm
Before the kids even sit down, take 30 seconds to settle the room. Turn off the loud news or the TV. If
you want some background sound, try a “Calm Kitchen” playlist instead. I love Warm Blanket on
YouTube.
Most importantly, take three deep breaths before you call everyone to the table. In a busy Indian
household, your calm is contagious, but so is your stress. Clear the homework, the laptops, and the
clutter off the table. Create a literal, physical space for your family to simply be together.
Remember Your Role (and Theirs)
It helps to remind yourself where your job ends and theirs begins.
- You are the Provider: You’ve put a balanced meal on the table, maybe some dal, a vegetable,
and rotis. Once the food is served, your hardest work is done - They are the Deciders: It is your child’s job to decide if they eat and how much they eat from what is offered
- The “Safe” Food: Always try to have at least one thing on the table that you know they are
comfortable eating. Whether it’s plain curd or a simple paratha, having a “safe” food lowers
their defenses and prevents a power struggle before the first bite
Focus on the People, not the Plate
Try to shift your attention away from what is (or isn’t) being eaten.
No Labels: For today, let’s stop using words like “good food”, “bad food”, “healthy”, or
“unhealthy.” We are just eating.
The Power of Silence: Try not to comment on how much or how little your child is eating. Let the table be a pressure-free zone.
If things start to feel chaotic, a spilled bowl of dal, a sudden meltdown, or a flat-out refusal to eat,
just stop. Take a breath. Smile at them and say: “It’s okay. We are just having dinner.”
Disclaimer: In the interest of full disclosure, this content was created originally and thereafter refined with minimal assistance from artificial intelligence.